Bite the Bullet
/Olivia Trzaski
Your Imminent Demise
Last Chance <lastchance@yahoo.com> 6:34 PM (11 minutes ago)
To Alex
Hello Alex Reed Pearson !
We hope this email finds you well. As you may have noticed, you are about to die.
Congratulations! Having reviewed the circumstances of your impending death, we would love to
extend the offer of a second chance at life. This offer is only given to the very best! You should
be proud.
You are currently experiencing a ten-minute free trial period. This will appear to you as if
everything around you is frozen and you are the only one able to move. We have temporarily
halted your body’s rapid deterioration and cut off the pain. You’re welcome! Please stay calm
and read the following carefully.
At Last Chance, we believe the fun doesn’t have to end just because you’re dying. Think of all
the great things you’ve done! There’s still so much left to do. We know you’ve always wanted to
visit Amsterdam with Bethany Wang , and there’s no reason you shouldn’t!
With our limited time offer, we would love to give you a chance at a new life. Reply to this email
with the name of a living person, and you will wake up good as new. Please don’t worry about
the person you name—our company guidelines ensure their family will be generously
compensated, and that’s after the life insurance pay out!
If you don’t reply with a name by exactly 6:44 PM , you will die. Remember, your life is precious,
Alex Reed Pearson , and you deserve one last chance!
Kind regards,
Last Chance
Re: Your Imminent Demise
Alex Pearson <alexthepear@gmail.com> 6:37 PM (8 minutes ago)
To Last Chance
Dear Last Chance,
I appreciate the offer, but I’ll have to decline. I would never trade someone’s life for mine.
Thanks for the opportunity.
Best,
Alex
Re: Your Imminent Demise
Last Chance <lastchance@yahoo.com> 6:37 PM (8 minutes ago)
To Alex
Alex ,
We’re sad to hear that! With your remaining minutes, we’d love it if you would reconsider! After
all, not even Last Chance knows what’s waiting after death. We know this is a difficult choice,
but look on the bright side! You will no longer be dying! You still have so many years ahead of
you. Think of Bethany , and your parents, April and Sin-Wu . Would they want you to die? The
ball is in your court! All you have to do is email a name and you will see them again!
All the best,
Last Chance
Re: Your Imminent Demise
Alex Pearson <alexthepear@gmail.com> 6:38 PM (7 minutes ago)
To Last Chance
No.
Re: Your Imminent Demise
Last Chance <lastchance@yahoo.com> 6:40 PM (5 minutes ago)
To Alex
Alex,
You are on the corner of 4th and 39th. You have been shot by a man experiencing a
hallucination. You were not meant to die here. The shot has missed your heart but ruptured
some pretty important internal organs. You need those to live! At 6:44, you will bleed out in
immense pain. You are only 23. Your favorite thing to do is eat blueberry pancakes on Sunday
mornings, when Bethany invites you over. If you bleed out, you’ll never get to eat her pancakes
again. I know you don’t believe in an afterlife. Do you really think this is all there is for you?
All you have to do is pick a name.
Better late than never, Alex! Good things come to those who wait.
Thanks in advance,
Last Chance
Re: Your Imminent Demise
Alex Pearson <alexthepear@gmail.com> 6:40 PM (5 minutes ago)
To Last Chance
fuck off
Re: Your Imminent Demise
Last Chance <lastchance@yahoo.com> 6:41 PM (4 minutes ago)
To Alex
Alex,
You’ve done some great things in this life. In 7th grade, Dominik Brusso got the help he needed
when you told the principal the truth. You talked to Leda Leor in 11th grade, and she went home
and came out to her parents. You’ve mentored Yevhen Ryn at the office, and he is inspired by
you. Your parents love you. Bethany Wang loves you. Last Chance believes this world is a
better place with you in it.
You’re running out of time to choose to live.
Hope this helps,
Last Chance
Re: Your Imminent Demise
Alex Pearson <alexthepear@gmail.com> 6:42 PM (3 minutes ago)
To Last Chance
theres no fucking reason for me to live i don’t understand why you want me to fcking kill
someone else. i know waht you people do and i wont be in debt to you. im not like that. and
fuckthese are my last words ok i tried my best to liev a good life but in the end it doesnt matter
we’re all gonna die even you. im not better than anyone else. your right i don’t believe theres
anything after this and thats why i wont give you a anme. no one deserves to bleed out on the
street. fuck you and your moral high ground. i hope they send you an email someday. if these
are my last words you should print them and put them up in youroffice to look at every goddamn
day and remind yourself what a terrible person you are. we’re all terrible people. i dont deserve
this anymore than you or dominik or wayne or bethany.
bethany, i’ve always loved you.
i guess i should say something profound if im gonna die but all im thniking is i dont want to die
Re: Your Imminent Demise
Last Chance <lastchance@yahoo.com> 6:42 PM (3 minutes ago)
To Alex
You don’t have to die.
Re: Your Imminent Demise
Alex Pearson <alexthepear@gmail.com> 6:43 PM (2 minutes ago)
To Last Chance
emma queston
Your Imminent Demise
Last Chance <lastchance@yahoo.com> 6:45 PM (0 minutes ago)
To Emma
Hello Emma Josephine Queston !
Author's Note: More than anything else, this piece was inspired by my personal vendetta against email etiquette. I wanted to explore the way emails can feel detached from reality and true human connection. Of course, as often happens when I’m writing, I ended up taking it to the extreme. In the end, this is about the handful of companies that dominate our lives, and it’s about the choices we make when it’s all on the line.
Olivia Trzaski is an avid writer of fiction and poetry who grew up in Connecticut. She is working toward a BFA in Creative Writing at Emerson College in Boston.
