Instructions for conducting a raid in kabaddi
/Unmana B
Plunge into the swarm.
Hands clutch your legs, your arms,
your breast; bodies drag
you down in conspiracy
with a fiery sun.
Bite down on the rosary
of words between your teeth,
spitting out bead by bead:
kabaddi kabaddi kabaddi.
If you breathe
you lose. How long can you hold
your breath while the whole world
holds you back?
Still, you know this
is your chance.
If you can inch closer to the chalked
line, straining towards the ground
till one finger
touches white.
Everything
drops away. You take great
gasping gulps of breath.
Your team scoops you
up in whoops of
victory.
Your heart is still
beating out terror
kabaddi
kabaddi
kabaddi
Author’s Statement: I’ve never been into sports, and kabaddi was one of the few sports I’ve ever played (as a child, many years ago). An essential rule of kabaddi is that the raider has to hold their breath and often chants “kabaddi kabaddi kabaddi” to demonstrate that they’re not inhaling. In Parini Shroff’s Bandit Queens, a character mutters “kabaddi kabaddi kabaddi” when she’s anxious. Which is such a wonderfully specific detail, but it got me thinking that holding my breath would make me more anxious, not less. It’s how I’ve always reacted to stress—it’s only in the last few years that meditation and yoga have taught me to keep breathing, and to breathe intentionally to release stress. It made me wonder if I’d often held my breath as a child in environments where I felt unsafe or hypervisible, desperate to escape. This metaphor bloomed into a poem for all of us who thought we were utterly alone, with all the world against us, but if you just make it through, you can find your people on the other side.
Bio: Unmana lives in Mumbai and writes across genres on themes of gender, queerness and found family. Their short stories have been nominated for the Best of the Net and the Deodar Prize. Chikkamma Tours (Pvt.) Ltd, published in India by Westland Books in 2024, is a deliciously bookish murder mystery featuring queer women characters.